Eating..... *what*?

    I am sitting here.  As are you.  Only *I* am staring at my now-empty bowl of ramen noodles.  Wonderful squiggly things, aren't they?  I mean, whoever would have thought that we could have a whole meal in three minutes, and only have to spend TWENTY-FIVE cents on it?  Genius, if you ask me. 

    On the subject of food though, I was intrigued, and somewhat disgusted today, when I started thinking about all of the odd things that we Americans eat.  And not just eat; but LOVE.
    It all started when I was sipping eggnog while attempting to start a fire in our basement...

    Eggnog - something so creamy, smooth.... delightful!  Until one starts contemplating the ingredients.  It is then that you realize, "Ewwwww.  I actually just drank that?  Huh.  Oh well.  Tasted good.  *takes another sip*"
    Am I right?


What else, man?  I mean, think about all of the things that we eat:

Cheese. "Why, yes, I would simply love to eat a moldy piece of curdled milk! Thank you so much!" 

Tomato Clam Juice. "Oh, yeah.  Haven't you heard?  Squishing clams and tomatoes, mixing the juices, and drinking it is completely normal!"   Sure.


Marshmallow Cream.  To quote my eldest brother, "If marshmallows are snowman poop.... then.... what is marshmallow cream?" 

Whip Cream. Like, what the heck people, how can you have something like that withOUT any possible dairy products??

Mushrooms.  Fungus.  Enough said.

I always hear of foods in other countries, and usually exclaim at how disgusting they sound.  Things like bird-nest soup, fertilized duck eggs, pig intestines, etc.  But you know what?  At least they KNOW what they're eating!  And it's freakin' natural!!  Can Americans say the same?  Do you know what went in that double cheeseburger that you had for lunch today, or really was in those frozen chicken nuggets that you had for dinner last night?  Sure didn't look like chicken, did it?  I mean, when did chicken start looking and feeling like... foam?

What is next, friends?  I suddenly have scary visions of place-in-water-and-watch-expand food packages. Forget using the oven or microwave to heat it.  It'll heat itself by "proven, self-heating methods."  Yah, sure, you betcha.  Something wrong with that picture, folks.  So, next time you eat... be sure you know what you're eating... ;)